Faulty Tape Drive

The tape drive on a server at work went belly up yesterday. I hoped that it was something simple that I could fix, but alas, it was not.

The subject tape drive is a Compaq DLT 40/80 drive that uses DLT3 tapes and can hold up to 80Gb compressed. We use this tape drive to back up the data and applications on our old minicomputer, a DEC AlphaServer 2000 which runs HP's OpenVMS. DLT drives are great ... obviously when they work ... and this technology lead to better drives like the Ultrium. DLT stands for "Digital Linear Tape" because the data is written to the tape linearly, in long horizontal stripes like an 8-track tape, rather than in slanted stripes like a VCR tape. This slanted stripe technology is used in DDS and AIT drives and did, indeed, come from the technology used in VCRs, so called "helical scan".

The problem was that this drive got a tape stuck inside for no apparent reason and was making buzzing noises. We had seen this problem before when using tapes that had been used previously with a different style of tape drive. DLT 'VS' drives and DLT drives take the same tapes, but cannot be used interchangeably. Once a DLT tape is written to using a 'VS'-style drive, it is then rendered unreadable by a plain DLT drive. If a DLT 'VS' tape is inserted into a DLT drive, it tries to find the alignment tracks by moving the heads. This is where the buzzing comes from.

The tape that was in the drive had been used previously on this same server, so why it was doing this was a mystery. Powering off the tape drive, resetting it, etc, did not work and the tape would not eject. I removed it from its enclosure to get the tape out manually, hoping that I can reassemble it, runa cleaning tape a few times and all will be well.

There was no such luck.

I cut the tape and got the cartridge out and removed the tape from the internal spool and got the tape drives leader put back on the hook. On this tape drive the "flashing lights" error usually indicates that the leader, a thin piece of plastic attached to the internal spool that hooks onto the tape inside the cartidge and pulls it into the drive, is unhooked from the little plastic hook that holds it in place to be able to catch the tape when the tape is inserted.

I plugged the tape drive back in to its enclosure, powered it up and reset it. I loaded up a cleaning tape to test it out and maybe clean it up so it might work once again.

Again, no such luck.

I kept trying to eject the tape, and the more I pressed eject the more tape would be wound into the drive! Within a few minutes, the drive had taken so much tape into its internal spool that it completely emptied the cleaning tape! For those that might not know, DLT tapes and many of their kin to not have the end of the tape permanently attached to the spool within the tape cartridge. Thus, the tape could come completely out of the cartridge ... and it did.

Fig. 1: 'Manually' unwinding the tape.

So, to clean up my mess, I again removed the drive from its enclosure and connections and got the cartridge out of the drive. I began to pull the tape off the spool when I got the idea of making it easier on myself by letting a power screwdriver unspool the tape for me! I tucked the loose end of the tape into the bit holder and put the screwdriver bit back in to hold it in place then started winding. My workmate CB told me that I should have thought harder about it and use a piece of tape to hold down the button so I wouldn't have to hold it. Great idea!

I got the tape removed and again reattached the leader to the hook and put everything back. It was a lost cause, but pretty amusing to work on. Thankfully our service agency we contract with had all kinds of interesting old equipment, including tape drives like this, so getting a replacement will be quick and painless.

The Croaking Dog

Over the holidays, I spent lots of time at home napping. Napping is one of my favorite activities since I lead a relatively sedentary lifestyle, especially in winter. Sleeping is not really a problem for me, it is getting to sleep that can be a nightmare.

In one of the houses behind me is a family that has a dog. That, in and of itself, is not unusual. The problem is that this dog does not bark, it croaks. Loudly. No, it is not a basenji, it is some kind of mutty-poodly mixture of random canine genetics. It is not very old, either, which is why I cannot understand why it croaks. Loudly. I suspect that it may have some sort of disorder or some past injury that causes it to be unable to bark properly. Perhaps it barked so much that it eventually suffered some sort of throat damage that causes the raspy pseudo-bark. Who's to say?

When this dog is outside, it croaks constantly. I'm unsure of whether it wants attention, wants water or is mentally ill, but that is all it seems to do is bark, er...croak.

During the holidays, from Christmas Eve to the following Sunday, the dog croaked ... constantly ... for those nearly five days, twenty-four hours per day. I am not exaggerating on this. The house where the dog lives was dark, so I can only assume the family was away.

From my property, I can see the house pretty well, but I can only see the dog on occasion it gets near the chain-link end of their fence. The compassionate part of me wanted to have gotten closer to see if the poor thing actually had food and water and confirmed that it was ok. The cynical part of me would have stopped the compassionate part of me because it is none of my business and they would have surely called the law on me. The mean, unpleasant part of me just wanted the thing to shut the hell up.

Another One Bites the Dust

Fig. 1: The remains of Mailbox No. 2

When I moved in to my little house, one of the first things I did was replace the mailbox. The mailbox that was here was kinda funky and falling apart, so I decided to get a new one to start my house on its way to a non-amateur-pharmacy identity.

The post you see in figure 1, above, I purchased for it and bought a heavy duty mailbox made out of thick steel. I painted it in green and put it up and had many a month of mail deliveries in it. That is until a nice, older gentleman driving with his wife turned the corner a bit to shallow and struck the edge with the passenger side mirror.

The guy stopped and was quite woeful of my mailbox. The leading edge was bent such that the door would not open. He wanted to pay for it, but I told him to put that money towards a new mirror on his minivan, that I could bend out the damage on the mailbox with a plier and that it was no big deal. I was more impressed...well, shocked, really...that the gentleman even stopped. Where are classy people like that now-a-days? What followed was many more months of trouble-free postal mail.

As winter came and went, it started to get harder and harder to keep the mailbox closed. The piano-style hinge holding the door was beginning to rust, as were the welds holding the top to the bottom, and the area the I bent out to get the door to open and close. I decided to take action this spring. I bought a new mailbox, the one you see in figure 1, above, to replace it. This one was a bit flimsier, but bigger and painted in a nice shade of brown that would compliment my home.

That is until someone knocked it down in the night this last Friday night/Saturday morning. The results are what you see, above. Just what I needed.

So, I went to the local DIY store and bought a new post and mailbox and some nice numbers. This time I painted the box and numbers the same shade as I did my front storm door, a flat, textured forest green. I think it turned out pretty well. It was certainly a better paint job than the original mailbox, which I painted with a "hammered" finish bright green...and did a terrible job on it.

Fig. 2: The new mailbox, No. 3

The new mailbox makes the third mailbox I have had in as many years. I only hope that the bastard's car looks as bad as mailbox number 2.

Stuck in Traffic

I had some errands to run today, so I left early. After completing them, before going home, I needed to go to the car dealer to get my oil changed, tires rotated and have some annoying rattles looked at.

I tried to get on the highway and was almost at the end of the ramp when I and numerous others were stopped by security escorts for the motorcade carrying presidential hopeful John McCain and his hitherto unannounced vice-president. They were appearing at a rally at the Nutter Center on the campus of Wright State University here in Fairborn. (Though they tell you it is in Dayton, Ohio, it isn't.)

I sat on the ramp to the highway for about 20 minutes ... waiting. A little voice inside me said that I should take the surface streets, but I didn't listen.

Whatever. They should have to fight traffic just like the rest of us!

Interesting fact: I can see the Nutter Center, a.k.a. "The Nut House", from my house as I live only about 1/4 mile from the campus. I can often pick up wireless microphone transmissions from concerts and such on a police scanner. I am sure that if I were home I could have picked up the live broadcast truck satellite transmissions on my big satellite dish, too. Not that I give a sh*t about politics though.

Follow up to "Please Stop...Fire...Neighborhood"

Fig. 1: Playing with Fire

Sony alpha 200, 300mm, f5.6 at 1/250".
Klicken für größeres Bild!

Fig. 2: Later that same evening...
Sony alpha 200, 105mm, f4.5 at 1/2".

WTF!?

I tried to think of a better title for this post than a simple follow up to my previous post "Please stop setting fire to my neighborhood" but I really couldn't. I thought of a few, such as:

• - Please stop setting fire to my neighborhood, part two
• - Please stop setting fire to my neighborhood, part deux
  
• - Burning Children for Fun and Profit
  
• - Pyromania
• - Douchebags on Parade

...but none really seemed to fit.

The pastor and elders of the church across the way cleaned out the hedgerow around the parking lot and churchyard and now the conflagratory actions of the pyromaniacs living behind the church are out in the open for all to see.

Kinda strange that this "parent" would allow his/her children to get so close to an open flame. Of course it is kind of difficult to determine who is the parent and who is the child here.

I better get this back!

I get a lot of email. As per usual, about 98% is crap that I can delete straight away. There are a select number of people that I get emails from that I automatically delete because they are forwards of some crap email that they got and just HAVE to send along.

You've probably gotten such emails (almost always, the subject is prefixed with "FWD:", which is a telltale of pseudo-spam) that have a cutesy picture or some new nugget of wisdom from the crabby card-lady Maxine or a flash animation saying how much of a valued friend that you are to the person that forwarded it to you.

If I was really your friend, you would not clog my inbox with crap like this.

The ones that really irritate me are the chain letter type. You know the ones. "You are a great friend! This email shows you are special to me! Show someone else you are special and pass this on to as many friends that you have. If you send this to 4.3 million people in the next 5 nanoseconds, the love of your life will appear and murder you with a piano-wire garrote."

Sometimes these have an addition, which makes it oh so much better! Sometimes this addition is even in the subject line! I better get this back! Oh, yeah, like I am really going to do that.

There is an elderly gent that I have known for a number of years, K. His wife and I used to work together years and years back. They are a very sweet couple. (They knew Elvis personally. True story.) K has nothing better to do all day than to surf the interwebs. He goes everywhere and picks up every piece of spyware and every virus out there, much to my chagrin since I have to fix it. The most aggravating part, however, is the mass of emails he forwards. Everything from these sappy emails to links to some inane piece of information that I have no need to know. But, I just click delete because there really is nothing that I can do about it. I get nearly twenty emails a day like this just from him. Sometimes they are exact duplicates!

Don't people have something more constructive to do than to put together a sappy email with angel pictures and roses with sparklies with some poem detailing how "special" someone is to you, and tells them they have to forward this email to everyone they know otherwise bad things will happen? To top it off, there is a demand that the receiver has to reciprocate and send the email back to the sender who had it originally to start the process over again? Does the sender really want it back? Would they have sent it off to begin with if they wanted it in the first place?

It really rings my chimes that these "I better get this back!" email usually have a statement to the effect that if I don't send this back, then I am not a real friend. Harumph, I say.

A friend would rather have a short, "Hey, how ya doin'? Just thinking about ya!" email than some horrible, long drawn out poem that could not normally get published in a journal or book so the author has to blast it across the interwebs for all to see email that makes unreasonable demands.

A real friend would not forward such things in the first place, thus allowing bandwidth savings for good uses of the interwebs like downloading pirated films, hard-core pr0n or the latest virus and spyware.

If you forward this to 10,629 people within the next 4 microseconds, something terrific will happen to someone you don't know somewhere. If you fail to do so, the fleas of a thousand camels will infest a thousand camels. And I had better not get this back. I didn't want it to begin with!

Do Not Disturb

I am anti-social. I hate crowds, meeting new people, meeting people that I already know. One of my biggest pet peeves is talking on the phone. If you call me, get to the point...don't just ramble on pointlessly keeping me tied up all night.

One of my dearest friends whom I love to spend time with is one of the worst offenders. She will often call and keep me on the phone for an hour or more. Last conversation that I had with her was to be short and sweet (as if I hadn't learned my lesson) so I called her back on my landline. This call cost me $11.20. She is "local long-distance" and my AT&T long distance is 10p per minute. If I called on my cell phone it would have been totally free. Next time I won't be so lazy.

Anyhow, I have had people enquire to me about Asterisk, the Linux-based phone system software. This is one piece of software that is probably worth its weight in gold.

Asterisk is a full-on software-based PBX; a phone system, if you will, just like those used in offices and businesses all around the globe. The difference here is that rather than be proprietary...Nortel Meridian phones only work on Nortel Meridian switches; they won't work on Avayas, NECs, Panasonics, Executones, etc. -- they aren't even interchangeable with Nortel's own Norstar PBXes...Asterisk can use standard analogue phones (with a proper adapter) or plain old IP phones from any manufacturer. I use Cisco 7900-series phones myself.

They system uses a powerful scripting language that lays out the call treatment. And believe you me, you can make they phone system do anything to a caller!

Here is a synopsis of what happens when a call comes in to my phone line...

First, the caller ID string is examined. If there is no caller ID string or if the string is "Private", "Unavailable" or something to that effect, the call is rejected with an announcement saying that we do not accept unidentified calls.

If there is a caller ID string, the call continues and the number is checked against a blacklist of numbers. If the number is on the list, the call is rejected with a rather rude announcement telling the caller they are blacklisted and to not bother calling back.

If that test is passed, then the number is checked against a graylist. The callers on this list may be mildly annoying and I may need to know what the call is in regards to, but not actually talk to anyone. These calls are shunted directly to voicemail.

In the final number test, the caller ID number is checked against a whitelist. These are calls of extreme importance and will bypass all further checking and start ringing the phones in the house for an extended period, up to one minute. This list is reserved for close friends, my parents and other non-annoying family members and people at work.

If the call goes through all these checks are is not rejected or shunted off to other places, then the call goes into what I call the generic tests.

First, the system checks the database to see if the "Systemwide Do-Not-Disturb" is turned on. If it is, then the call is shunted to voicemail. I can dial a number into any phone and turn this Systemwide DND on and off. This is especially useful if I am home from work early and want to take a nap.

Second, the system checks the database to see if the "Systemwide Time Restrictions" are turned on. If the time restrictions are NOT on, then the call proceeds through unhindered. If time restrictions are on, and there should be no reason for them to be off, the system checks the day and time...

• Monday-Friday, 7am-6pm calls will be shunted directly to voicemail because I am probably not home.
• Sunday-Saturday, 10pm-7am calls will be shunted directly to voicemail because I am probably asleep.
• Otherwise, calls will continue unhindered.

If the call passes through all of this, only then will it ring the IP phones scattered throughout the house. It will, however, ring for only 30 seconds before going to voicemail.

During all this checking and ringing the phones, the caller will be treated to some pleasant music. If I do not answer, a pleasant voice will indicate that I am not available with a humourous reason why, before being sent off to voicemail.

Some of the funniest oneliners: Nobody is available to take your call...

• they have been carried away by monkeys.
• we're all busy with our hangovers.
• we're off gambling and getting drunk.
• Mike has been brutally murdered by the teletubbies.
• all your base are belong to us.
• abandon all hope ye who dial here.

It is a fun system to play with and surprisingly powerful. I have been able to do things with it that I could never do with my Nortel Meridian Option 11s at work. The best part is, all of the sound files for the annoucements are included and have been professionally recorded by a great voice.

If you would like more information about Asterisk, visit the project website at http://www.asterisk.org.

Please stop setting fire to my neighborhood.

I live in a strange neighborhood. Well, really, all neighborhoods have their black sheep, outcasts, weirdos, but we seem to have more than we need.

Now, don't get me wrong...I am strange in and of myself. I have quite more than my fair share of antennas and satellite dishes on and around my house. Some have compared my homestead to SETI. I just tell everyone that I'm waiting for contact from the mothership.

There seems to be a phenomena in my neighborhood with people liking to set things on fire. Specifically, setting fires for communal enjoyment. What I mean by this is open burning. Several times this week and numerous times since spring began, several neighbors have had open fires going in their backyards.

The people across the back of the churchyard across the street from me have had an open pit fire going nearly every night this week, the college frat house behind me set one alight about twice a week and the neighbors to the east of my parents tore out and burned their entire privacy fence.

Within the city there is a law against open burning. One would think that with the gestapo in our town as active as they are that the pyromaniacs would be sanctioned for their crimes...especially since we live about 1/4 mile from the fire station. But, no, the fires continue.

It would not be so bad if the fires were done safely (as in not at all) in a fire pit. At our local home and garden shops they sell numerous varieties of fire containment vessels from large terra cotta vessels to small fire pit tables, all of which are available inexpensively and have provisions to prevent the fire from actually escaping and burning down a house or entire neighborhood.

The pyromaniacs in my neighborhood do not use such vessels. They only have short rings of bricks set up on their backyard lawns. I think this is so that once the inevitable drought sets in, any fires they set will surely spread.

Thankfully my homeowners insurance is paid up.

I Hate BlackBerries

Yes, I hate BlackBerries. No, not blackberries as in the fruit...though they are not my favorite fruit and I could take them or leave them...it is the handheld cellular telephonic device by the same name (with the exception of the capital "B"s) that is the focus of my ire.

Our CEO was having trouble with is cellphone, a Samsung Windows-based smartphone. Rather than have us get him a replacement, since we can get them cheap, he desired a Crack...er, Black...Berry.

In order to facilitate this vilest of handheld devices, my boss suggested that I get one as well. Joy. In all fairness, my contract with Verizon Wireless is up and I had thought about getting a CrackBerry to play with when I reup just to see what they are all about. My getting one through work was just a happy coincidence...happy in that I now don't have to waste my money.

I'm not exactly sure about what my issue is with these evil devices. Perhaps it is that I am so used to having a Windows-based smartphone, which I have had several over the years, that I cannot possibly use anything else. Perhaps it is that all these yuppie-scum bluetooth-headset wearing douchebags (you know the kind...so self-important that they wear them like jewelry) that tend to have them. I don't know.

In order to get a BlackBerry or two, we had to buy two devices WITH completely new, separate contracts outside of our regular corporate contract. They are, obviously, more expensive now because we have voice AND data on them. The data portion of the service is an extra $30 per month! Add to that the $99 license fee to get it connected to our Exchange mail server...

Just for giggles, I decided to try setting up my current personal smartphone, a Samsung i760, to get email and calendar from our mail server. I already get email for my personal accounts from my linux mail server at home, but never tried to connect to my work server. While I use my personal phone for both myself and work purposes...rather than carry two phones and a pager...I never thought about syncing it to my work email.

I set about getting it configured, and after a short while and some minor configuration tweaks on the exchange server, I was getting my work email, calendar and contacts on my phone and keeping them in perfect sync. After setting mine up, I sent a little bit of info to my boss (who, likewise, has a Windows-based smartphone) and he got server synchronization to work instantly on his phone.

This would not normally seem like a big deal, however I was impressed with the Microsoft solution because it kept everything work-related separate from my personal emails!

With the BlackBerry, after setting it up to sync with my work email account through the BlackBerry Enterprise Server, I also set it up to get my personal emails from a few accounts that I have on my servers at home. This was one of my biggest issues with it...it lumped everything together in one big email jumble! How annoying is that? There were, as I discovered, a few ways to distinguish the various accounts like color coding and separate windows. However, to get the corporate email, you have to take everything together...color-coded emails, voicemails, all of it.

What is even more annoying is that in order to support this device, you have to run the BlackBerry Enterprise server software on top of the Exchange server. As if Microsoft software wasn't bloated enough on its own, now you have to have RIM's Java-based monstrosity running as well. Thankfully, the "professional" version of the software that supports up to 30 users can reside on the same server as Exchange with little impact in overhead. The full-blown BlackBerry Enterprise server requires its own server...as if we had a couple of kilodollars to throw down for a server to support a handful of CrackBerry addicts...

This would not normally be a big issue, but I have been aggravated by this software for the past day. One seemingly simple issue...synchronizing calendar items...has turned into a nightmare of epic proportions. First, it is the CEO's CrackBerry that is affected so it immediately becomes a hot-button issue with my boss. Second, I have a million (quite literally) things that I should be doing rather than messing with this stupid thing. Third, I would really rather not mess with an already fragile Exchange server that is (was) working perfectly up to this point.

I swear if this CrackBerry software damages my Exchange server I will go up to the CEO's office with a hammer and destroy that phone. Kudos to Microsoft, for a change, for making smartphones and server software that function exactly the way you'd expect. My smartphone is, essentially, a BlackBerry that doesn't suck.

I think I need to up my meds.

Phantom Pager Syndrome

I have a syndrome. I call it "Phantom Pager Syndrome". This is going to sound weird, but stay with me.

You see, I have had a pager, cell phone or both...sometimes even more than one each...since I have started working. That's about 17 years now.

I wear my pagers/cell phones on my belt, on the right side, just above my right leg. For the last few years, I have felt strange vibrations in this area...like a pager set on vibrate. I feel it all the time. Even now as I type this, it seems like someone is trying desperately to get hold of me.

I generally set any communications devices I have to ring and vibrate, because I can't always hear the ringing due to ambient noise or the speaker location versus the case muting the sound. When I feel a distinct vibration, I check and listen for the ring. I leave the ring turned all the way up because I don't hear very well anyhow.

Well, since I have the phantom vibrations, I'm checking my phone ALL THE TIME!

I have the most annoying ring that I could imagine. It is a ring that I like because it is loud and I keep the ringer volume all the way up. That way I have an incentive to answer it...to shut it up. It is called "Vintage Phone" and sounds like an old bell phone ringer. It is great! This way when my phone rings I can always tell it is mine. Plus, it is a unique ringing sound that is quite well done that I bought from a company that specializes in ambient sound effects called SoundRangers. I thought a unique solution such as this would a) annoy people, b) ensure that I know my phone is ringing and c) not be stupid like some other ringers I've heard like whatever the current popular top 40 hip-hop song is.

That is not to say that I don't have other ringers, for example...
- For my friend Chris, I have the theme to "Benny Hill", since he is always horny.
- For my boss, I have the "Imperial March" from Star Wars, since he's like Lord Vader sometimes.
- For my friend KL, I have the theme to "Dynasty" (an '80s prime-time soap) since everything she gets involved with has some kind of extreme drama.
- And for my co-worker APK from Sri Lanka I have the "Monkey" sound from the classic MacOS...it's been around since System 6. (Not very PC, I know!)

But these "Phantom Pages" are getting quite annoying. I started having problems back when I was working for the contract computer service company. At that time I was carrying two pagers and two cell phones! Thankfully, I have only one cell phone now...my own. If I didn't have to have it, I wouldn't!

In another related issue is the Nextel walkie-talkie feature. Not only is it annoying to see and hear people using this feature rather than holding a proper phone conversation (since we can now hear BOTH sides of the conversation) the chirp that it makes really bothers me. This is because I had a Nextel when I worked for the contract service company...every time that thing would chirp, I would cringe. It got so bad that at one point I thought I was going to go completely mad. All day long it would chirp with my boss or co-workers wanting something. Even to this day, hearing the Nextel chirp makes me shudder.

I suppose this is enough rambling for today...

Snowy Weather

The weather people stated that we were doomed today. We were supposed to have gotten 5 or so inches of snow.

I woke up today at 3:30 am with some mild heartburn from the Diclofenac, an anti-inflamatory, I am taking for my jaw pain. I took some stomach pills, and upon doing this, I walked out to the living room and looked out the window and saw the weather.

There was a 1/4" of snow.

When the radio came on at 6:30 am, they were listing the 227 school closures for the day.

At 6:30 am, there was about 1/2" of snow.

I got ready for work and went out to the car and brushed it off, and left for work uneventfully. This was until I got to the end of my street. Just before the end of my street, there is another street that intersects it. On this street was an idiot in a 4x4 SUV intentionally gunning the engine and slip-sliding side-to-side down the small hill. This dingleberry hardly stopped at the end of the street, and then proceeded to do the same thing after I passed going to the traffic light. Thankfully, I turn right because this duckfart was turning left. I dared him to hit me because I would like to see how quickly his insurance company would come strong with a new BMW.

For the most part, the vast majority of people were driving with some care and common sense. I saw no accidents or wipe outs on the way to work, which is customary for any snowy days of 1/4" or more.

I can forgive people that don't know how to drive in bad weather. They will learn in short order at the first couple of snowfalls. I can also somewhat forgive people that feel invincible in their huge SUVs and drive like they normally would on a clean, clear day. But some idiot hooning his SUV with oversize tires all over a narrow city side street is inexcusable. This person should be executed for the good of mankind.

We've been getting freezing rain for the whole of today, and more snow tonight. I've been in the dungeon at work for most of the day and have yet to check out the road status. It has been said that it is getting more slick as time goes on...perhaps I will take surface streets home today...

This just in, right now, this second:
It must be getting really bad out because they are shutting down Lexis-Nexis* in Miamisburg and Springfield for the day. They rarely do this...oh, woe is us!

* Chris' wifey works at LexNex, so we get lots of juicy inside details. Though their grapevine is not nearly as good as the one here at RTA...

Nothing to Say

I don't have anything to say in this blog entry. I've been really busy with a number of really annoying things at work and have been really aggravated by my boss because of a number of nit-picky little stupid problems and the micromanagement of a number of my projects.

Last week Chris played the movie "Hostel" on his laptop for some background noise while working. He, unfortunately, called me over to watch some of the more "choice" parts.

What an incredibly disturbing and disgusting movie.

If you have not seen this movie, good. Don't. It is about a number of young adults that travel to the former eastern bloc and stay at inexpensive hostels. These people are seduced, drugged and taken to a strange post-apocalypse-looking industrial building. Here they are brutally mutilated and killed. They are killed by people who have paid to kill. Generic Europeans are $10,000, Russians are $15,000 and Americans are $25,000. I won't go into too much detail, but one of the group manages to escape, gets revenge by killing his "owner" and, eventually, the evil seductresses, and leaves by train.

Movies such as this don't really bother me. At least they didn't used to bother me. Perhaps it was just this movie. It disturbed me to the core. I had nightmares about it for a few nights afterward. Very creepy and nasty, that.

Chris really used to love movies from the horror genre, especially horribly unpleasant movies such as "Hostel". He has, however, (in his own words) "become a puss" since having kids. He also favored apocalypse-types movies like "Dawn of the Dead" but they now no longer hold any appeal to him. This, as near as we can figure, is due to the "no hope" factor. Now that he has kids, he cannot fathom them not being able to grow up happy and healthy with hope for a good future. It's funny how having kids can change a person.

Generally when I am working (or trying to) I will put on my iPod and listen to some music. Depending on what I am doing, I can get into a pretty good groove and manage to get something done. That is, unless the phone starts ringing. And it does. A lot. With the usual stupid problems.

Anyhow, I cannot wait for the weekend. I have made sure that I won't be available for anyone but myself. I have some nagging projects to work on here at home, rearranging furniture, some much needed cleaning and the like. I also have a bunch of stuff to list on eBay to try to reclaim some space in my house!

Everybody Loves Michael

I watch Everybody Loves Raymond pretty much every night. It is on TBS around the time I eat dinner. (when I eat...see previous posts)

I make remarks all the time about how defective their family is, how much of a doofus Ray is, how overbearing his father is, how much of a bitch Deborah can be, how nosy his mother is. The only one that doesn't really have a problem is Ray's brother, Robert. Well, except for the severe mental imbalances caused by the defective family.

Tonight there was an episode in which Deborah's parents came to visit, and the group went out to a four star restaurant to eat. Ray's parents didn't want to go because they "don't go to places like that." When they finally did get there, there was nothing but loud, boisterous complaining. The prices were too high, even though Deborah's parents were paying. There was no rye bread..."what would the restaurant do if someone Jewish came to eat?" There were too many glasses, five forks when they need only two, etc. It is as if the ides of a fine restaurant was completely alien.

This is a program that is a sitcom...a situation comedy...that is written in a specific way as to be funny. It is not supposed to reflect real life. Really, it is NOT. Truth is stranger than fiction.

This episode reminded me of the time my parents and I took my dad's parents on vacation with us to Nags Head, North Carolina. Nags Head is a great little town on route 12 on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We used to vacation there quite often until it got really touristy. Anyhow, it used to be a great place to visit, and we would stay in a little place right on the ocean side beach.

The trip started off uneventfully. We arrived in the evening and got settled in. Then it started getting bad.

There was no coffee ready the next morning. When dad did get the coffee ready, it wasn't worthy of their consumption. "Oh, that is not very good coffee, oh, not good at all."

We went out to eat pretty much every night at some of the best restaurants in the town. Every restaurant was the same. "Oh, this isn't very good, is it? Not good at all. I don't like this, it is not good at all." This went on all week. Day in, day out.

There was one particularly great restaurant we ate at, I cannot recall the name, where I had the best stuffed grouper I have ever had. As I recall, dad had the lobster and steak and mom had a platter of scallops, clam strips and crab. It was at this restaurant that the most interesting part of this story happens.

The grandparents wanted rare hamburgers.

In North Carolina there is a health law that states that any ground meat must be cooked to well done and have an internal temperature of 160°. I don't know about you, but I like my ground meats (when I eat them, which is not often) to be well cooked. I don't really want to spend any more time in the hospital than necessary.

There was a lot of unhappiness at this wonderful dinner. The grandparents were very dissatisfied at this answer. "I've have never heard of anything like this before, no I have not." "I can't believe it, I am not happy at all." "Oh, this is terrible, I cannot eat overcooked meat like this, no I can't."

They did order the hamburgers, overcooked, at a seafood restaurant. And they complained, constantly, about not being able to get their rare hamburgers. For the rest of the week.

Dad babysat his parents often during this trip. Mother and I would swim in the ocean, walk on the beach, go shopping in town. We did it so we could get away from the complaining.

Everybody Loves Raymond isn't do far off the mark after all.

Addendum
This was the one and only time we vacationed with the grandparents. I should also add that 80% of the complaining was the grandmother. That is dad's step-mother.

Also, the reason we haven't been back to the Outer Banks is because of the tourists. You know who you are. You dingleberries with those obnoxious, idiotic oval "OBX" stickers on your gas-guzzling SUVs like it is some kind of foreign country. I was vacationing in the Outer Banks before it became popular. It is you, nasty tourist, that ruined the Outer Banks for all of us that don't do the touristy things. You should be ashamed.

Do Your Job!

My friend Chris at work takes a lot of abuse from me. Generally it is unintentional, and I try to shield him from "harm" as much as he does me. We run interference for each other a lot, and sometimes I wonder if my boss thinks that we tag team him to get things done our way.

On Friday, after our staff meeting and on the way back to the building we work in, I started getting madder and madder. One of our illustrious colleagues failed to do something and used an excuse that I had done something to the system to prevent it from working properly. This is, unfortunately, par for the course for this person. Chris has experienced this a number of times, and had called him on it time and time again. I have had issues once or twice myself. If there is something about his software that is not working, he instantly blames the Windows installation and tells Chris that he needs to reload the PC. This, to date, has never been the solution...it is usually a part of his software that needs configuration or installation. Thankfully, previously none of these issues have ever been so visible as the one from last week.

In our passenger waiting area we have some large LCD displays to note the arrival of buses to our downtown stops. Way back in the day, I did the setup of these things. I bought the four large monitors and had them installed, I setup the computer and the associated software. I even did the background graphics to give it some real class. This was at a time when there was no real person in the position that is supposed to handle this type of setup for the software system we use. You see, one of our colleagues jobs is to maintain this software system for our transit dispatch functions.

Even though it is not my job, over the years I have managed to soak up quite a bit of intimate knowledge about the software and hardware functions of our dispatch system, from the computers to the radios to the software...everything is very tightly integrated. The system has its flaws, and stability can be an issue at times. With the complicated nature of the entire system, it is a wonder that it runs as reliably as it does. Microsoft would do well to make Windows so reliable.

The issue last week was that another one of our colleagues who takes the bus to work regularly reported to "A" that the monitors were not working. Without even taking the time to look at it, he blamed me instantly, saying that it was because of a piece of software that I had loaded. He said that I would have to be the one to fix it since it was my problem.

Now, this software that I loaded is a small program designed to scroll messages "stock ticker" style across a narrow band at the bottom of the screen. It is tiny and non-invasive. Not to mention that this software had been run on this same system off and on for years with no ill effects.

The person that reported the problem "D", then sent an email to me and our boss telling of the conversation she has with "A". I got the email and sent a rather poignant email back to my boss explaining to him everything that went on and how this is typical of "A".

The software that displays the arrivals frequently stops responding...generally about once a week. All that is required is to exit the program, bring it back up and load the configuration file. It takes about a minute. How hard would it be to do this? We have complete remote access to every single computer on our network, so "A" would not even had to move.

In the staff meeting, our boss asked "A" about the monitors and he responded that it should be my responsibility to fix it since I had loaded the software. I, quite vocally, disagreed. He stated that it was my problem since I loaded the software and didn't tell him that there was new software on the box. (To which I will agree I should have done.)

We went back and forth a number of times in this manner, and he said that he never received the email from "D" about the problem and didn't know about it. Then "D" interjected that she actually walked up to him and told him about the problem as soon as she discovered it, and he instantly responded that I would have to work on it...not him!

I started coming unglued.

My boss stated that it was indeed the responsibility of "A" to make sure the display software operates properly...to which he was visibly annoyed.

The conversation then turned to an issue regarding a clock in the dispatch center that was off the correct time. This is an issue that I had heard nothing about. The clock in question connects to a computer in the dispatch center via a serial port, and there is a tiny piece of software on the box that sends the time. Our boss interrogated us as to why this was not fixed in a timely manner. I couldn't say anything because I didn't even know about it.

I found it amazing that "A" did not know about the clock. It is integrated with our dispatching software, and I had to explain to him all about the clock and what computer it is connected to. He stated that none of the computers have any connections to any clocks. The only connections to any computers are the radio consoles. To this, I had to explain to him that, No, the consoles are not connected to the computers in any fashion! He then stated that the dispatch software did not have a module for the clocks. To this, I had to explain that the software is indeed included and that the dispatch software vendor had sold us and installed the clocks to begin with! I called him out in the meeting about it. "What, you don't know how the software you are supposed to maintain works?"

In the end, it was discovered that the computer that the clock was connected to had been moved, against MIS policy by a person in the dispatch center. We were not told about this. The computer that was put back into place did not have the software, so all it would need is the software installed.

I am getting really fed up having to be the expert in all things in our department. I end up having to perform some of the most mundane tasks that anyone in the department should be able to handle. Now, doing this is part of all of our jobs, but some others frequently turn over these tasks to Chris or myself without even trying to solve the problem or answer the question because they are oh, so busy with their own work.

"A" as become the biggest problem in the department in this regard. Rather than learn more about the system that he is supposed to maintain, or help with the general helpdesk calls (in which he IS the backup for the helpdesk position), he spends time talking to friends on his cell phone or chatting with them online.

On the way back from the meeting, I was really hot. Chris was pleased to see that "A" is finally getting called on the carpet for his misdoings, which have been long in coming. I hollered to Chris about "A" all the way back to the building, in the garage and into our office. I shouldn't holler at him, but I was not happy, and he understood and agreed with me.

I am getting really tired of doing everyone else's jobs. Why can't they do their own? I don't get paid enough for my own job, and I certainly don't get any extra for doing theirs. We all slack off some, it is to be expected and our boss can be very relaxed about it, and I certainly do my share of non-work. However, some of my colleagues take too much liberty with this and need to start taking responsibility for their own projects and helping with our multitude of shared responsibilities. Chris and I cannot possibly do everything.

Things I Can Do Without

I got up this morning and got dressed for work. When I put on my socks, one had a hole in the big toe.

Just a great start to the day.

In this day and age of technological achievement, how can we not have wear-proof socks? I mean, come on. There is fabric out there that can absorb the shock of a roadside bomb, fabrics that can take a bullet without so much as a fray. Yet we cannot make toe-resistant socks. Unbelievable.

My friend McA got me a bluetooth earphone for Christmas. What a thoughtful gift! I would not have gotten one myself, I would just suffer along with using my phone like normal. It is a great little device, and I think I'll get a lot of use out of it.

I can, however, do without those people that wear their bluetooth earphone like some kind of status symbol. You've seen the type. They wear it all the time like a piece of jewelry, like they are so utterly important that they cannot take it off for one second lest they miss a call. Oh, woe is us!

Just call me a curmudgeon...or something like that.

Being Shot in Downtown Dayton

I made a comment on one of my favorite blogs that I read regularly about the supposed terrible state of Downtown Dayton. I decided to expand on that a little bit...mainly because I want to bitch about it here rather than at work.

I have worked in Downtown Dayton for more than 10 years, right on the Third and Main corner that is the focus of most of the attention. Many organizations in Dayton, which will remain nameless (because they know who they are!) are intent to blame the RTA for the problems of youth congregating at Third and Main.

Why are they there? Because we deliver them from school, and they transfer there. That is the main transfer point in Dayton. It is what we do, we are a bus company after all. Sure we have limited service routes running from the large high schools and middle schools direct to the neighborhoods they serve, but since Dayton is the Charter School* Capital of the World, we have to contend with students coming and going at all hours of the day.

*Charter Schools, n., a government instituted vehicle that enables people to steal from the government under the guise of delivering an adequate education to students that meets or exceeds that which is delivered by the incumbent public school system.

The public school district has to provide transportation under state law. That is all well and good, but they cannot afford to run buses everywhere they need. So they ask (demand) the RTA to transport students. So we negotiate with them, and sell them transportation at a pittance. So, there are more students in the system, and our planners have to pull out their hair to contend with the headway adjustments and routing needed for all this transportation.

The city, the school board and the "others" that don't like "that element" downtown, because it is causing people not to want to come downtown, have brought this upon themselves. These are also the same organizations that see the RTA as a cash cow because we have the Federal Transportation Administration to get grants from. I have no power at the RTA, but if I did I would come down pretty hard on these organizations and shut off the flow of cash. I, however, have no tact and would probably be run out on a rail.

I am just getting so sick of these organizations blaming their problems on "that element" and using the RTA as their scapegoat. And yes, they have actually used the phrase "that element" in public meetings and press conferences. It disgusts me.

Bitching over. I hope that no one at work reads this, because I could probably be in deep shit for my opinions, but whatever. The RTA isn't perfect, but I am growing tired of us being walked on.

Now for the good part...

I have worked downtown for a long time. I once was the IT manager for a very respected law firm in Dayton. (Read: NOT ambulance chasers) During the summer months, it is very common to see everyone and their brother walking around downtown, especially on Courthouse Square. Numerous local restaurants and mobile vendors set up shop on the square to sell lunches and drinks to the crowd. Dayton, regardless of what many people say, has a very walkable downtown. There are a number of great little restaurants that I and my colleagues from the firm would go to, some pretty much every day!

I once was crossing the street at Third and Main heading back to the office after a trip to the library. As soon as I stepped into the shadow of my building, I felt a "tap" on top of my head. I thought it was a splash of water...silly me! I reached up to it and my hand came back with a nasty, viscous, white slime. I was so embarrassed! I tried to be as nonchalant as I could, holding my head to cover the massive dollop of pigeon dookie just deposited on my cranium. Imagine some idiot walking along holding his hand to the top of his head, for no apparent reason, just as if it was completely normal...what a doofus.

I passed security, with some stares. They, of course, just thought I was an idiot. I managed to secure an empty elevator rather quickly and rode up the 17 floors, hoping that no one needed an up elevator just now. In the mirrored elevator car I could clearly see the nastiness.

Still holding my head, again still trying to blend in, I exited the elevator and tried to hurry along to the restroom to wash out my hair. The receptionist, unbeknownst to me, was paying a great deal of attention and panicked after I disappeared into the restroom alcove. She called one of the lawyers and the office manager saying that I was hurt, and that I had possibly been shot in the head!

All hell started breaking loose. One of my attorney pals, M.S., came into the restroom (the office manager, a great lady G.C.R., was...well...a lady) and saw that I was washing out my hair. When he found out that, yes, I had been shot in the head...by a pigeon...the whole office found out in about 30 seconds. I had to live with the ridicule for about six months.

But I have to admit, it was quite funny. Every time I think about it I have to laugh!

If you are ever in Downtown Dayton and need to eat, call me. I recommend the Sesame Chicken from Mandarin Kitchen, the Bourbon Chicken from Lucky Dragon, everything at Thai9 and, of course, the pride of Dayton...Flying Pizza!!!

38 Things You Wish You Could Say at Work

I was cleaning my mailbox out at work and came across this list that someone sent me. It is 38 things that you wish you could say at work, but can't. Unfortunately, I have said a few of them...

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Driving

If you have been following along, you already know that I dislike driving. It is an aggravation that I wish I did not have to deal with. I work for the local bus company and I get to travel on our coaches for free. The only problem is I live in a town in another county, and the bus doesn't gome anywhere near my house. If it did I would use it rather than drive.

I love having a car, though. If I need to go anywhere, I can. While having a car is great, I constantly wonder if it worth the aggravation. Since I live in a distant suburb, I have no choice. With gas over $3 per gallon, it is getting expensive. It would be great if I did not have to drive to work every day, but when I have to travel long-distance to visit friends or run errands a car comes in very handy.

I used to drive a big old SUV. I had a Ford Explorer with a V8 engine. This was a very nice vehicle...except for the bane of all SUV drivers everywhere: horrible gas mileage. I was only getting 13 mpg, which with gas prices the way they are makes it an expensive vehicle to feed. I was contemplating trading it off for a more economical vehicle for a while, then the display on the radio went out.

Now it had to go.

After taking it to the dealer, and them telling me that they would not replace it even though it was supposed to be covered under the extended warranty, I got really really pissed. I was still seething and I went straight away to a local Chevrolet dealer, since I had been looking at Impalas, and traded it off. Surprisingly, not only was the payment less, the mileage was better and they gave me a good price for the Explorer.

But I still hate to drive. I have carefully mapped out a route to work that is not only quick, but has very little traffic. I rarely have an issue with other drivers on this route, and I can get to work in about 20 minutes.

I am thankful, though, that even though some drivers are lousy and inconsiderate, we have comparatively few issues. I am reminded of a story told to me by my friend RDW. He is an engineer that was in the Air Force for a number of years, and he worked and lived in Saudi Arabia for a number of years. (With his fiery Mexican wife, L, which made for interesting times!)

When he was there, there was an intersection in the middle of Riyadh where two, ten-lane roads met. The speed on each road was 100 kph...about 62 mph. This intersection had no traffic signals, no signs, no control devices of any kind. It was constantly busy with traffic. He said that no one ever stopped, ever. The best way to traverse this intersection was to just drive fast and go straight through. If you pause to look around, you are liable to be hit from behind. If you look at another driver, they interpret that as you are letting them go, and they will. He said there were a number of nasty, deadly accidents at that intersection...but not as many as you would think.

Two years before he left, they installed traffic signals.

We have it pretty lucky.

Things That Annoyed Me Today

Note: Some of the below might be deemed unpleasant to those with weak constitutions...

I must be grasping at straws for something to blog about. I was bored at work today, so I blogged about my water softener. A water softener for goodness sake!

Anyhow, I was annoyed by several things today.

Nortel Symposium
This is software by Northern Telecom that manages the call centers we have at work. For some reason, the call center manager cannot run any reports. It is something goofy with Crystal Reports and Active Directory and all that. I can run the reports for her direct from the server, but it is easier for her to do it. I've tried everything, and I still cannot get it to work. Our phone system vendor is of no help either.

Cisco Wireless Controller
The wireless LAN I am implementing at my company is based on Cisco's lightweight access points. These have a central controller that manages every aspect of the entire wireless infrastructure. Pretty great, actually. The problem is that I installed Internet Authentication Service on one of our Windows Domain Controllers and I could not get any machines to securely connect to the wireless network. The RADIUS server portion of IAS was configured properly...or so I thought. I had put in the wrong IP address for the Wireless Controller in the IAS configuration, so the RADIUS server would never respond to any requests from the Wireless Controller. Once I changed it, it worked like a charm. Just another idiot problem that took me three days to figure out. Duh.

3com Switches
I am losing my faith in 3com. Today, out of the blue, our core switch in one of the main buildings died. So, pretty much everyone lost connection to everything. I had to fanagle all the connections from that switch into the already overloaded other core switch in that building. Now I have to plan on a way to recover if I lose another one. I really want to replace the whole ball of wax with Cisco stuff, but we need money.

My Tongue
This is the gross one. Mom and I went out to eat at Olive Garden, my favorite restaurant. I ordered the cheese ravioli with meat sauce. I didn't think it would be too bad. My mouth, especially my tongue, is still very sensitive from the radiation damage but pasta and their associated sauces seemed to agree with me best. After finishing the salad, I felt something strange in the back of my mouth. It was a piece of skin that had sloughed off of the side of my tongue, and my tongue began to bleed. I tried to continue eating, but the acid in the tomato sauce burnt the sensitive sore that had just been created. I thought I was done with this crap. Late in the radiation, the roof of my mouth was shedding every few days in a bloody mess...now that that's over with, I guess it's time for my tongue to start! Dammit! Hopefully I will be able to handle the luscious Italian food for lunch tomorrow.

I promise that I won't let my blog become a bitchfest...at least not often...