I am anti-social. I hate crowds, meeting new people, meeting people that I already know. One of my biggest pet peeves is talking on the phone. If you call me, get to the point...don't just ramble on pointlessly keeping me tied up all night.
One of my dearest friends whom I love to spend time with is one of the worst offenders. She will often call and keep me on the phone for an hour or more. Last conversation that I had with her was to be short and sweet (as if I hadn't learned my lesson) so I called her back on my landline. This call cost me $11.20. She is "local long-distance" and my AT&T long distance is 10p per minute. If I called on my cell phone it would have been totally free. Next time I won't be so lazy.
Anyhow, I have had people enquire to me about Asterisk, the Linux-based phone system software. This is one piece of software that is probably worth its weight in gold.
Asterisk is a full-on software-based PBX; a phone system, if you will, just like those used in offices and businesses all around the globe. The difference here is that rather than be proprietary...Nortel Meridian phones only work on Nortel Meridian switches; they won't work on Avayas, NECs, Panasonics, Executones, etc. -- they aren't even interchangeable with Nortel's own Norstar PBXes...Asterisk can use standard analogue phones (with a proper adapter) or plain old IP phones from any manufacturer. I use Cisco 7900-series phones myself.
They system uses a powerful scripting language that lays out the call treatment. And believe you me, you can make they phone system do anything to a caller!
Here is a synopsis of what happens when a call comes in to my phone line...
First, the caller ID string is examined. If there is no caller ID string or if the string is "Private", "Unavailable" or something to that effect, the call is rejected with an announcement saying that we do not accept unidentified calls.
If there is a caller ID string, the call continues and the number is checked against a blacklist of numbers. If the number is on the list, the call is rejected with a rather rude announcement telling the caller they are blacklisted and to not bother calling back.
If that test is passed, then the number is checked against a graylist. The callers on this list may be mildly annoying and I may need to know what the call is in regards to, but not actually talk to anyone. These calls are shunted directly to voicemail.
In the final number test, the caller ID number is checked against a whitelist. These are calls of extreme importance and will bypass all further checking and start ringing the phones in the house for an extended period, up to one minute. This list is reserved for close friends, my parents and other non-annoying family members and people at work.
If the call goes through all these checks are is not rejected or shunted off to other places, then the call goes into what I call the generic tests.
First, the system checks the database to see if the "Systemwide Do-Not-Disturb" is turned on. If it is, then the call is shunted to voicemail. I can dial a number into any phone and turn this Systemwide DND on and off. This is especially useful if I am home from work early and want to take a nap.
Second, the system checks the database to see if the "Systemwide Time Restrictions" are turned on. If the time restrictions are NOT on, then the call proceeds through unhindered. If time restrictions are on, and there should be no reason for them to be off, the system checks the day and time...
During all this checking and ringing the phones, the caller will be treated to some pleasant music. If I do not answer, a pleasant voice will indicate that I am not available with a humourous reason why, before being sent off to voicemail.
Some of the funniest oneliners: Nobody is available to take your call...
If you would like more information about Asterisk, visit the project website at http://www.asterisk.org.
One of my dearest friends whom I love to spend time with is one of the worst offenders. She will often call and keep me on the phone for an hour or more. Last conversation that I had with her was to be short and sweet (as if I hadn't learned my lesson) so I called her back on my landline. This call cost me $11.20. She is "local long-distance" and my AT&T long distance is 10p per minute. If I called on my cell phone it would have been totally free. Next time I won't be so lazy.
Anyhow, I have had people enquire to me about Asterisk, the Linux-based phone system software. This is one piece of software that is probably worth its weight in gold.
Asterisk is a full-on software-based PBX; a phone system, if you will, just like those used in offices and businesses all around the globe. The difference here is that rather than be proprietary...Nortel Meridian phones only work on Nortel Meridian switches; they won't work on Avayas, NECs, Panasonics, Executones, etc. -- they aren't even interchangeable with Nortel's own Norstar PBXes...Asterisk can use standard analogue phones (with a proper adapter) or plain old IP phones from any manufacturer. I use Cisco 7900-series phones myself.
They system uses a powerful scripting language that lays out the call treatment. And believe you me, you can make they phone system do anything to a caller!
Here is a synopsis of what happens when a call comes in to my phone line...
First, the caller ID string is examined. If there is no caller ID string or if the string is "Private", "Unavailable" or something to that effect, the call is rejected with an announcement saying that we do not accept unidentified calls.
If there is a caller ID string, the call continues and the number is checked against a blacklist of numbers. If the number is on the list, the call is rejected with a rather rude announcement telling the caller they are blacklisted and to not bother calling back.
If that test is passed, then the number is checked against a graylist. The callers on this list may be mildly annoying and I may need to know what the call is in regards to, but not actually talk to anyone. These calls are shunted directly to voicemail.
In the final number test, the caller ID number is checked against a whitelist. These are calls of extreme importance and will bypass all further checking and start ringing the phones in the house for an extended period, up to one minute. This list is reserved for close friends, my parents and other non-annoying family members and people at work.
If the call goes through all these checks are is not rejected or shunted off to other places, then the call goes into what I call the generic tests.
First, the system checks the database to see if the "Systemwide Do-Not-Disturb" is turned on. If it is, then the call is shunted to voicemail. I can dial a number into any phone and turn this Systemwide DND on and off. This is especially useful if I am home from work early and want to take a nap.
Second, the system checks the database to see if the "Systemwide Time Restrictions" are turned on. If the time restrictions are NOT on, then the call proceeds through unhindered. If time restrictions are on, and there should be no reason for them to be off, the system checks the day and time...
- Monday-Friday, 7am-6pm calls will be shunted directly to voicemail because I am probably not home.
- Sunday-Saturday, 10pm-7am calls will be shunted directly to voicemail because I am probably asleep.
- Otherwise, calls will continue unhindered.
During all this checking and ringing the phones, the caller will be treated to some pleasant music. If I do not answer, a pleasant voice will indicate that I am not available with a humourous reason why, before being sent off to voicemail.
Some of the funniest oneliners: Nobody is available to take your call...
- they have been carried away by monkeys.
- we're all busy with our hangovers.
- we're off gambling and getting drunk.
- Mike has been brutally murdered by the teletubbies.
- all your base are belong to us.
- abandon all hope ye who dial here.
If you would like more information about Asterisk, visit the project website at http://www.asterisk.org.
3 comments:
Boy, unplugging my phone to avoid unwanted calls seems very unsophisticated after reading how filtered your calls can be!
The capability of the software you discuss is pretty amazing, though I'd be far too lazy to configure it. ;-)
You really are more anti-social than you come across, though I can understand why in the moments when I'm fed up. As it is, I don't like being around strangers or talking to new people necessarily, though I have no problem with old friends or students.
I am not sure why, but talking on the phone has always been a big problem for me. I avoid it like the plague, even at work. I email or talk to people face-to-face rather than call them on the phone. It is kinda funny because I really enjoy playing with the phone systems at work!
I have the same problem with talking to people on the radio. Since I am a licensed amateur radio operator, one would think that I would enjoy talking to people on the air. This is, unfortunately, not so. Many members of the club often ask me to get on the radio and talk to them. I think that I am afraid to because I cannot often express my thoughts coherently through speech, it takes time for me to come up with something off the cuff.
I guess I am more defective that I first imagined!
I usually tell them that I don't get on the radio often because I have nothing to say, and it is pointless to waste energy saying nothing.
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