Faulty Tape Drive

The tape drive on a server at work went belly up yesterday. I hoped that it was something simple that I could fix, but alas, it was not.

The subject tape drive is a Compaq DLT 40/80 drive that uses DLT3 tapes and can hold up to 80Gb compressed. We use this tape drive to back up the data and applications on our old minicomputer, a DEC AlphaServer 2000 which runs HP's OpenVMS. DLT drives are great ... obviously when they work ... and this technology lead to better drives like the Ultrium. DLT stands for "Digital Linear Tape" because the data is written to the tape linearly, in long horizontal stripes like an 8-track tape, rather than in slanted stripes like a VCR tape. This slanted stripe technology is used in DDS and AIT drives and did, indeed, come from the technology used in VCRs, so called "helical scan".

The problem was that this drive got a tape stuck inside for no apparent reason and was making buzzing noises. We had seen this problem before when using tapes that had been used previously with a different style of tape drive. DLT 'VS' drives and DLT drives take the same tapes, but cannot be used interchangeably. Once a DLT tape is written to using a 'VS'-style drive, it is then rendered unreadable by a plain DLT drive. If a DLT 'VS' tape is inserted into a DLT drive, it tries to find the alignment tracks by moving the heads. This is where the buzzing comes from.

The tape that was in the drive had been used previously on this same server, so why it was doing this was a mystery. Powering off the tape drive, resetting it, etc, did not work and the tape would not eject. I removed it from its enclosure to get the tape out manually, hoping that I can reassemble it, runa cleaning tape a few times and all will be well.

There was no such luck.

I cut the tape and got the cartridge out and removed the tape from the internal spool and got the tape drives leader put back on the hook. On this tape drive the "flashing lights" error usually indicates that the leader, a thin piece of plastic attached to the internal spool that hooks onto the tape inside the cartidge and pulls it into the drive, is unhooked from the little plastic hook that holds it in place to be able to catch the tape when the tape is inserted.

I plugged the tape drive back in to its enclosure, powered it up and reset it. I loaded up a cleaning tape to test it out and maybe clean it up so it might work once again.

Again, no such luck.

I kept trying to eject the tape, and the more I pressed eject the more tape would be wound into the drive! Within a few minutes, the drive had taken so much tape into its internal spool that it completely emptied the cleaning tape! For those that might not know, DLT tapes and many of their kin to not have the end of the tape permanently attached to the spool within the tape cartridge. Thus, the tape could come completely out of the cartridge ... and it did.

Fig. 1: 'Manually' unwinding the tape.

So, to clean up my mess, I again removed the drive from its enclosure and connections and got the cartridge out of the drive. I began to pull the tape off the spool when I got the idea of making it easier on myself by letting a power screwdriver unspool the tape for me! I tucked the loose end of the tape into the bit holder and put the screwdriver bit back in to hold it in place then started winding. My workmate CB told me that I should have thought harder about it and use a piece of tape to hold down the button so I wouldn't have to hold it. Great idea!

I got the tape removed and again reattached the leader to the hook and put everything back. It was a lost cause, but pretty amusing to work on. Thankfully our service agency we contract with had all kinds of interesting old equipment, including tape drives like this, so getting a replacement will be quick and painless.

Pointless Victories

I was aggravated today at work and decided to play a few hands of Solitaire on my computer rather than deal with dumb things and people. In one game I played, I beat it in 93 seconds for an end score of 8,222.

It is these pointless, stupid little victories that can make life kinda sweet and calm the nerves.

I Hate BlackBerries

Yes, I hate BlackBerries. No, not blackberries as in the fruit...though they are not my favorite fruit and I could take them or leave them...it is the handheld cellular telephonic device by the same name (with the exception of the capital "B"s) that is the focus of my ire.

Our CEO was having trouble with is cellphone, a Samsung Windows-based smartphone. Rather than have us get him a replacement, since we can get them cheap, he desired a Crack...er, Black...Berry.

In order to facilitate this vilest of handheld devices, my boss suggested that I get one as well. Joy. In all fairness, my contract with Verizon Wireless is up and I had thought about getting a CrackBerry to play with when I reup just to see what they are all about. My getting one through work was just a happy coincidence...happy in that I now don't have to waste my money.

I'm not exactly sure about what my issue is with these evil devices. Perhaps it is that I am so used to having a Windows-based smartphone, which I have had several over the years, that I cannot possibly use anything else. Perhaps it is that all these yuppie-scum bluetooth-headset wearing douchebags (you know the kind...so self-important that they wear them like jewelry) that tend to have them. I don't know.

In order to get a BlackBerry or two, we had to buy two devices WITH completely new, separate contracts outside of our regular corporate contract. They are, obviously, more expensive now because we have voice AND data on them. The data portion of the service is an extra $30 per month! Add to that the $99 license fee to get it connected to our Exchange mail server...

Just for giggles, I decided to try setting up my current personal smartphone, a Samsung i760, to get email and calendar from our mail server. I already get email for my personal accounts from my linux mail server at home, but never tried to connect to my work server. While I use my personal phone for both myself and work purposes...rather than carry two phones and a pager...I never thought about syncing it to my work email.

I set about getting it configured, and after a short while and some minor configuration tweaks on the exchange server, I was getting my work email, calendar and contacts on my phone and keeping them in perfect sync. After setting mine up, I sent a little bit of info to my boss (who, likewise, has a Windows-based smartphone) and he got server synchronization to work instantly on his phone.

This would not normally seem like a big deal, however I was impressed with the Microsoft solution because it kept everything work-related separate from my personal emails!

With the BlackBerry, after setting it up to sync with my work email account through the BlackBerry Enterprise Server, I also set it up to get my personal emails from a few accounts that I have on my servers at home. This was one of my biggest issues with it...it lumped everything together in one big email jumble! How annoying is that? There were, as I discovered, a few ways to distinguish the various accounts like color coding and separate windows. However, to get the corporate email, you have to take everything together...color-coded emails, voicemails, all of it.

What is even more annoying is that in order to support this device, you have to run the BlackBerry Enterprise server software on top of the Exchange server. As if Microsoft software wasn't bloated enough on its own, now you have to have RIM's Java-based monstrosity running as well. Thankfully, the "professional" version of the software that supports up to 30 users can reside on the same server as Exchange with little impact in overhead. The full-blown BlackBerry Enterprise server requires its own server...as if we had a couple of kilodollars to throw down for a server to support a handful of CrackBerry addicts...

This would not normally be a big issue, but I have been aggravated by this software for the past day. One seemingly simple issue...synchronizing calendar items...has turned into a nightmare of epic proportions. First, it is the CEO's CrackBerry that is affected so it immediately becomes a hot-button issue with my boss. Second, I have a million (quite literally) things that I should be doing rather than messing with this stupid thing. Third, I would really rather not mess with an already fragile Exchange server that is (was) working perfectly up to this point.

I swear if this CrackBerry software damages my Exchange server I will go up to the CEO's office with a hammer and destroy that phone. Kudos to Microsoft, for a change, for making smartphones and server software that function exactly the way you'd expect. My smartphone is, essentially, a BlackBerry that doesn't suck.

I think I need to up my meds.

Phantom Pager Syndrome

I have a syndrome. I call it "Phantom Pager Syndrome". This is going to sound weird, but stay with me.

You see, I have had a pager, cell phone or both...sometimes even more than one each...since I have started working. That's about 17 years now.

I wear my pagers/cell phones on my belt, on the right side, just above my right leg. For the last few years, I have felt strange vibrations in this area...like a pager set on vibrate. I feel it all the time. Even now as I type this, it seems like someone is trying desperately to get hold of me.

I generally set any communications devices I have to ring and vibrate, because I can't always hear the ringing due to ambient noise or the speaker location versus the case muting the sound. When I feel a distinct vibration, I check and listen for the ring. I leave the ring turned all the way up because I don't hear very well anyhow.

Well, since I have the phantom vibrations, I'm checking my phone ALL THE TIME!

I have the most annoying ring that I could imagine. It is a ring that I like because it is loud and I keep the ringer volume all the way up. That way I have an incentive to answer it...to shut it up. It is called "Vintage Phone" and sounds like an old bell phone ringer. It is great! This way when my phone rings I can always tell it is mine. Plus, it is a unique ringing sound that is quite well done that I bought from a company that specializes in ambient sound effects called SoundRangers. I thought a unique solution such as this would a) annoy people, b) ensure that I know my phone is ringing and c) not be stupid like some other ringers I've heard like whatever the current popular top 40 hip-hop song is.

That is not to say that I don't have other ringers, for example...
- For my friend Chris, I have the theme to "Benny Hill", since he is always horny.
- For my boss, I have the "Imperial March" from Star Wars, since he's like Lord Vader sometimes.
- For my friend KL, I have the theme to "Dynasty" (an '80s prime-time soap) since everything she gets involved with has some kind of extreme drama.
- And for my co-worker APK from Sri Lanka I have the "Monkey" sound from the classic MacOS...it's been around since System 6. (Not very PC, I know!)

But these "Phantom Pages" are getting quite annoying. I started having problems back when I was working for the contract computer service company. At that time I was carrying two pagers and two cell phones! Thankfully, I have only one cell phone now...my own. If I didn't have to have it, I wouldn't!

In another related issue is the Nextel walkie-talkie feature. Not only is it annoying to see and hear people using this feature rather than holding a proper phone conversation (since we can now hear BOTH sides of the conversation) the chirp that it makes really bothers me. This is because I had a Nextel when I worked for the contract service company...every time that thing would chirp, I would cringe. It got so bad that at one point I thought I was going to go completely mad. All day long it would chirp with my boss or co-workers wanting something. Even to this day, hearing the Nextel chirp makes me shudder.

I suppose this is enough rambling for today...

Ask and ye shall receive...

I got an invite today in the mail from the HR department at work. It is an RSVP to attend the annual "Service Awards" banquet. For us office workers, it means that we have been employed by the RTA for a number of years evenly divisible by five.

This is my fifth year of working at the RTA. I have to say that it is the best job I have ever had. The strangest thing is that I kinda asked for it.

I used to work downtown for a law firm as their IT manager. I handled all the day to day maintenance of the servers, computers, phone system and the like. I even did more mundane things like court running, serving papers, refilling the copier, processing the mail and all that jazz.

While I worked there, I noticed a lot of activity at a building across the street from the building I worked in. Someone had bought the old, decrepit building and was doing a complete refurb on it. I didn't know who was doing it, but they were doing a great job of it.

I went to lunch one day with an attorney friend and on the way back to the office, we passed by the building on Third Street. We had to stop at a traffic light and I was able to get a pretty good look into the second floor window. A second floor room with lots of server cabinets.

I immediately thought to myself, "Boy, I'd like to work in a place like that. Lots of infrastructure to take care of."

Within a matter of weeks, I was contacted by a guy from a company who was desperate to get someone that knew Windows networking to maintain a couple of companies. His current guy left to pursue other interests. I was desperate to get out from under 'Frank'*. So, we hooked up, I got hired and went to work with the clients that he was desperate to service.

One of the clients was a company south of town that was owned by a Japanese conglomerate. They made glue for the auto industry and there were a lot of Japanese personnel there. This is where I picked up a few choice naughty Japanese words and first came into contact with the Japanese version of Windows.

The second company was the RTA.

Strangely enough, the RTA is the company that bought the downtown building that was being refurbished and the company that had the server cabinets on the second floor!

I have actually worked for the RTA for six years: one year as a part-time contractor working for the now defunct company I left the law firm for and five as a real, live employee.

After the company went under, my current boss immediately hired me in to be a permanent employee in the position I was working in anyhow.

So, I guess I asked for it.

My boss says that he only expects five years of work out of a person. Well, I'm not ready to leave. Sure, I have looked around to see what is out there and what the prevailing wages are and compare that to the pittance I make now. But, I have it pretty good where I am. We have great insurance, a great retirement plan, the salary isn't bad and me and Chris get away with absolute murder. Plus, my boss is pretty great, too. Ah, who am I kidding...I'm too lazy to look for another job!

I will never forget the first time I met my current boss those six years ago. He had planned a little verbal quiz to test my skills. He is a skeptic, which is great really, and doesn't necessarily trust everything any salesman says to him. In the case of my former boss from the now defunct company, this was wise.

He asked me if I knew what a RAID was.

RAID stands for Redundant Array of Inexpensive Disks. A way of protecting data on a set of hard drives by using more than one, either striping the data across them or mirroring.

After I gave him the five-minute explanation, he had no more questions for me. :) I guess he must have been satisfied with my answer.

I'm just glad to be out from under 'Frank'*.

* When you think of 'Frank', envision Bill Lumbergh from Office Space. Then you will understand.

Nothing to Say

I don't have anything to say in this blog entry. I've been really busy with a number of really annoying things at work and have been really aggravated by my boss because of a number of nit-picky little stupid problems and the micromanagement of a number of my projects.

Last week Chris played the movie "Hostel" on his laptop for some background noise while working. He, unfortunately, called me over to watch some of the more "choice" parts.

What an incredibly disturbing and disgusting movie.

If you have not seen this movie, good. Don't. It is about a number of young adults that travel to the former eastern bloc and stay at inexpensive hostels. These people are seduced, drugged and taken to a strange post-apocalypse-looking industrial building. Here they are brutally mutilated and killed. They are killed by people who have paid to kill. Generic Europeans are $10,000, Russians are $15,000 and Americans are $25,000. I won't go into too much detail, but one of the group manages to escape, gets revenge by killing his "owner" and, eventually, the evil seductresses, and leaves by train.

Movies such as this don't really bother me. At least they didn't used to bother me. Perhaps it was just this movie. It disturbed me to the core. I had nightmares about it for a few nights afterward. Very creepy and nasty, that.

Chris really used to love movies from the horror genre, especially horribly unpleasant movies such as "Hostel". He has, however, (in his own words) "become a puss" since having kids. He also favored apocalypse-types movies like "Dawn of the Dead" but they now no longer hold any appeal to him. This, as near as we can figure, is due to the "no hope" factor. Now that he has kids, he cannot fathom them not being able to grow up happy and healthy with hope for a good future. It's funny how having kids can change a person.

Generally when I am working (or trying to) I will put on my iPod and listen to some music. Depending on what I am doing, I can get into a pretty good groove and manage to get something done. That is, unless the phone starts ringing. And it does. A lot. With the usual stupid problems.

Anyhow, I cannot wait for the weekend. I have made sure that I won't be available for anyone but myself. I have some nagging projects to work on here at home, rearranging furniture, some much needed cleaning and the like. I also have a bunch of stuff to list on eBay to try to reclaim some space in my house!

Do Your Job!

My friend Chris at work takes a lot of abuse from me. Generally it is unintentional, and I try to shield him from "harm" as much as he does me. We run interference for each other a lot, and sometimes I wonder if my boss thinks that we tag team him to get things done our way.

On Friday, after our staff meeting and on the way back to the building we work in, I started getting madder and madder. One of our illustrious colleagues failed to do something and used an excuse that I had done something to the system to prevent it from working properly. This is, unfortunately, par for the course for this person. Chris has experienced this a number of times, and had called him on it time and time again. I have had issues once or twice myself. If there is something about his software that is not working, he instantly blames the Windows installation and tells Chris that he needs to reload the PC. This, to date, has never been the solution...it is usually a part of his software that needs configuration or installation. Thankfully, previously none of these issues have ever been so visible as the one from last week.

In our passenger waiting area we have some large LCD displays to note the arrival of buses to our downtown stops. Way back in the day, I did the setup of these things. I bought the four large monitors and had them installed, I setup the computer and the associated software. I even did the background graphics to give it some real class. This was at a time when there was no real person in the position that is supposed to handle this type of setup for the software system we use. You see, one of our colleagues jobs is to maintain this software system for our transit dispatch functions.

Even though it is not my job, over the years I have managed to soak up quite a bit of intimate knowledge about the software and hardware functions of our dispatch system, from the computers to the radios to the software...everything is very tightly integrated. The system has its flaws, and stability can be an issue at times. With the complicated nature of the entire system, it is a wonder that it runs as reliably as it does. Microsoft would do well to make Windows so reliable.

The issue last week was that another one of our colleagues who takes the bus to work regularly reported to "A" that the monitors were not working. Without even taking the time to look at it, he blamed me instantly, saying that it was because of a piece of software that I had loaded. He said that I would have to be the one to fix it since it was my problem.

Now, this software that I loaded is a small program designed to scroll messages "stock ticker" style across a narrow band at the bottom of the screen. It is tiny and non-invasive. Not to mention that this software had been run on this same system off and on for years with no ill effects.

The person that reported the problem "D", then sent an email to me and our boss telling of the conversation she has with "A". I got the email and sent a rather poignant email back to my boss explaining to him everything that went on and how this is typical of "A".

The software that displays the arrivals frequently stops responding...generally about once a week. All that is required is to exit the program, bring it back up and load the configuration file. It takes about a minute. How hard would it be to do this? We have complete remote access to every single computer on our network, so "A" would not even had to move.

In the staff meeting, our boss asked "A" about the monitors and he responded that it should be my responsibility to fix it since I had loaded the software. I, quite vocally, disagreed. He stated that it was my problem since I loaded the software and didn't tell him that there was new software on the box. (To which I will agree I should have done.)

We went back and forth a number of times in this manner, and he said that he never received the email from "D" about the problem and didn't know about it. Then "D" interjected that she actually walked up to him and told him about the problem as soon as she discovered it, and he instantly responded that I would have to work on it...not him!

I started coming unglued.

My boss stated that it was indeed the responsibility of "A" to make sure the display software operates properly...to which he was visibly annoyed.

The conversation then turned to an issue regarding a clock in the dispatch center that was off the correct time. This is an issue that I had heard nothing about. The clock in question connects to a computer in the dispatch center via a serial port, and there is a tiny piece of software on the box that sends the time. Our boss interrogated us as to why this was not fixed in a timely manner. I couldn't say anything because I didn't even know about it.

I found it amazing that "A" did not know about the clock. It is integrated with our dispatching software, and I had to explain to him all about the clock and what computer it is connected to. He stated that none of the computers have any connections to any clocks. The only connections to any computers are the radio consoles. To this, I had to explain to him that, No, the consoles are not connected to the computers in any fashion! He then stated that the dispatch software did not have a module for the clocks. To this, I had to explain that the software is indeed included and that the dispatch software vendor had sold us and installed the clocks to begin with! I called him out in the meeting about it. "What, you don't know how the software you are supposed to maintain works?"

In the end, it was discovered that the computer that the clock was connected to had been moved, against MIS policy by a person in the dispatch center. We were not told about this. The computer that was put back into place did not have the software, so all it would need is the software installed.

I am getting really fed up having to be the expert in all things in our department. I end up having to perform some of the most mundane tasks that anyone in the department should be able to handle. Now, doing this is part of all of our jobs, but some others frequently turn over these tasks to Chris or myself without even trying to solve the problem or answer the question because they are oh, so busy with their own work.

"A" as become the biggest problem in the department in this regard. Rather than learn more about the system that he is supposed to maintain, or help with the general helpdesk calls (in which he IS the backup for the helpdesk position), he spends time talking to friends on his cell phone or chatting with them online.

On the way back from the meeting, I was really hot. Chris was pleased to see that "A" is finally getting called on the carpet for his misdoings, which have been long in coming. I hollered to Chris about "A" all the way back to the building, in the garage and into our office. I shouldn't holler at him, but I was not happy, and he understood and agreed with me.

I am getting really tired of doing everyone else's jobs. Why can't they do their own? I don't get paid enough for my own job, and I certainly don't get any extra for doing theirs. We all slack off some, it is to be expected and our boss can be very relaxed about it, and I certainly do my share of non-work. However, some of my colleagues take too much liberty with this and need to start taking responsibility for their own projects and helping with our multitude of shared responsibilities. Chris and I cannot possibly do everything.

Getting Back to Normal

On Monday, I had to work. It was kind of lame, there wasn't a lot of people around and I did manage to get some needed work done.

Chris, RDW and I went to a local mexican restaurant, Elsa's, to have their buffet. They make the greatest enchiladas, a whole mess of them, for their buffet. They are cheesy and moist and go down real easy. Especially with a nice smattering of sour cream and a splash of Cholula hot sauce. I really wanted to have their complimentary chips and salsa, but chips are still too hard for me to handle. It is too bad, really, because I used to destroy some chips there.

Anyhow, I digress. On the way, since it is a pretty long drive (and well worth it) there was a bunch of old computers and stuff in my trunk. Every bump and corner, no matter how easily I took it, the crap would shift and make a bunch of racket. It grated on my nerves! I would cringe at every move, but wouldn't say anything.

When we pulled into the parking lot, the junk shifted again. I couldn't stand it any more and I said, out loud, "That racket is starting to piss me off!" I got out, and as Chris and RDW got out, Chris looked at me an said something to the effect of "I was wondering when you were going to say something about that!" RDW started laughing, Chris started laughing and so did I. They both said that I am seemingly getting back to the normal, old Mike.

That made me feel good. I think they were pleased. I really haven't felt like myself since I was sick. From the above exchange, it is evident that my friends have noticed. I know Chris and his family were concerned for me for the longest time, and RDW seems to still be worried about me.

As I return to being some of my old self, it seems my friends are becoming more at ease with my situation and becoming less worried about me. I don't really like that everyone was so concerned about me. Sure it is nice, but I don't want people to feel bad around me or be overly concerned. I prefer to be worried about others and have others unconcerned about me. As I slowly return to normal, I am starting to feel better about myself and feel better that people are becoming less worried about me.

I am all too happy, now, to go back to being my old self. But I sincerely don't want to be the severe, old curmudgeon that I was, and I don't think I will. I have been changed, I think, for the better. At least I am going to try really hard to keep the best of what I have become.

I have noticed that I am going back to making the snarky little editorial comments to my friends and coworkers. My boss seems to enjoy the commentaries that Chris and I make about life at the RTA. I think he likes it because he has to tow the party line all the time and it just reinforces that which he is thinking. Every job has its issues that people don't like or can't help but comment to their peers about, so it is not like we are isolated. I find it comforting to remember this fact, and remind myself that while the pay might not be the greatest, but the benefits are outstanding and I am proof of that.

With life, there are always little things that bother people. I think keeping stuff bottled up is not really helpful for a person, but being aggravated about everything isn't healthy either. I think I have found a good balance.

Being Shot in Downtown Dayton

I made a comment on one of my favorite blogs that I read regularly about the supposed terrible state of Downtown Dayton. I decided to expand on that a little bit...mainly because I want to bitch about it here rather than at work.

I have worked in Downtown Dayton for more than 10 years, right on the Third and Main corner that is the focus of most of the attention. Many organizations in Dayton, which will remain nameless (because they know who they are!) are intent to blame the RTA for the problems of youth congregating at Third and Main.

Why are they there? Because we deliver them from school, and they transfer there. That is the main transfer point in Dayton. It is what we do, we are a bus company after all. Sure we have limited service routes running from the large high schools and middle schools direct to the neighborhoods they serve, but since Dayton is the Charter School* Capital of the World, we have to contend with students coming and going at all hours of the day.

*Charter Schools, n., a government instituted vehicle that enables people to steal from the government under the guise of delivering an adequate education to students that meets or exceeds that which is delivered by the incumbent public school system.

The public school district has to provide transportation under state law. That is all well and good, but they cannot afford to run buses everywhere they need. So they ask (demand) the RTA to transport students. So we negotiate with them, and sell them transportation at a pittance. So, there are more students in the system, and our planners have to pull out their hair to contend with the headway adjustments and routing needed for all this transportation.

The city, the school board and the "others" that don't like "that element" downtown, because it is causing people not to want to come downtown, have brought this upon themselves. These are also the same organizations that see the RTA as a cash cow because we have the Federal Transportation Administration to get grants from. I have no power at the RTA, but if I did I would come down pretty hard on these organizations and shut off the flow of cash. I, however, have no tact and would probably be run out on a rail.

I am just getting so sick of these organizations blaming their problems on "that element" and using the RTA as their scapegoat. And yes, they have actually used the phrase "that element" in public meetings and press conferences. It disgusts me.

Bitching over. I hope that no one at work reads this, because I could probably be in deep shit for my opinions, but whatever. The RTA isn't perfect, but I am growing tired of us being walked on.

Now for the good part...

I have worked downtown for a long time. I once was the IT manager for a very respected law firm in Dayton. (Read: NOT ambulance chasers) During the summer months, it is very common to see everyone and their brother walking around downtown, especially on Courthouse Square. Numerous local restaurants and mobile vendors set up shop on the square to sell lunches and drinks to the crowd. Dayton, regardless of what many people say, has a very walkable downtown. There are a number of great little restaurants that I and my colleagues from the firm would go to, some pretty much every day!

I once was crossing the street at Third and Main heading back to the office after a trip to the library. As soon as I stepped into the shadow of my building, I felt a "tap" on top of my head. I thought it was a splash of water...silly me! I reached up to it and my hand came back with a nasty, viscous, white slime. I was so embarrassed! I tried to be as nonchalant as I could, holding my head to cover the massive dollop of pigeon dookie just deposited on my cranium. Imagine some idiot walking along holding his hand to the top of his head, for no apparent reason, just as if it was completely normal...what a doofus.

I passed security, with some stares. They, of course, just thought I was an idiot. I managed to secure an empty elevator rather quickly and rode up the 17 floors, hoping that no one needed an up elevator just now. In the mirrored elevator car I could clearly see the nastiness.

Still holding my head, again still trying to blend in, I exited the elevator and tried to hurry along to the restroom to wash out my hair. The receptionist, unbeknownst to me, was paying a great deal of attention and panicked after I disappeared into the restroom alcove. She called one of the lawyers and the office manager saying that I was hurt, and that I had possibly been shot in the head!

All hell started breaking loose. One of my attorney pals, M.S., came into the restroom (the office manager, a great lady G.C.R., was...well...a lady) and saw that I was washing out my hair. When he found out that, yes, I had been shot in the head...by a pigeon...the whole office found out in about 30 seconds. I had to live with the ridicule for about six months.

But I have to admit, it was quite funny. Every time I think about it I have to laugh!

If you are ever in Downtown Dayton and need to eat, call me. I recommend the Sesame Chicken from Mandarin Kitchen, the Bourbon Chicken from Lucky Dragon, everything at Thai9 and, of course, the pride of Dayton...Flying Pizza!!!

The Descent of Humanity

Early this year, the City of Dayton finally got approvals to tear down the abandoned Admiral Benbow Hotel behind our building in Downtown Dayton. They, of course, demanded that the RTA pay for it. We did have a grant to do it, and the land we will use to enhance our downtown hub and allow the buses to be off the street. It will be easier and more convenient for our customers.

Before the teardown began, our favorite engineer, RDW, was tasked to find a company to do the teardown and run the project. During the pre-proposal meeting and tour, RDW asked if Chris and I would like to join them for a tour of the abandoned hotel. We, of course, said yes. We both brought cameras, of course, in case we find anything interesting. And, boy, did we ever!

Fig. 1: Exterior Balconies

We saw many things that were startling. Before the Dayton Police boarded it up, people had broken out the windows and would actually live in there! If you are homeless and have no where to go, then this might be your only option.

Fig. 2: Entrance from Market Street

The building was in bad shape. It was build in the 60's, and has sat empty since 1986. Some time around 1988, whomever owned the building had done asbestos abatement on the building. Since it was abandoned, there was no need to clean up the mess that was left behind.

Fig. 3a: 8th Floor Hallway

Fig. 3b: 4th Floor Hallway

The rooms were no better.

Fig. 4: 9th Floor Typical Room

We found some unusual stuff, too.

Fig. 5a: Chris with a weird 70's porno mag

Fig. 5b: Human Poo (in the back corner)

Fig. 5c: Toilets in the Lobby

There have been people living here off and on for a long time. Before the police boarded up the building for the last time, I actually saw some young people...a young man and woman, younger than I, in ragged clothing and a couple of backpacks filled with what I would assume to be all their worldly possessions...squeeze through a fence in front of the Market Street entrance, and climb in to the building through a jagged, broken window. They looked like they were tired and ragged, like they had not eaten in a few days.

Fig. 6: Makeshift Lobby Living Room

The one thing that was most shocking to me was the lack of electrical wiring in the entire hotel. It is not because it wasn't built without wiring, but because the homeless had removed every bit of it to sell. Copper prices are traditionally high, especially now, so this was a veritable gold mine for those with the gumption to make the effort to remove it. There's been no electric service to the building since 1986, and the stairwells we traversed were very, very dark, even with flashlights. These people were desperate to do all this.

Fig. 7: Circuit breakers strewn about

Next to every circuit breaker box on every floor there were breakers strewn all over. The homeless left them after removing the copper wiring. They also removed the copper and aluminum buss bars from the breaker boxes, and the main electrical cables going to each floor.

Fig. 8: Elevator motor sans copper coil

The homeless had also removed the copper coils from the elevator motors. This hotel had four elevators. The motors are huge, about the size of a typical V6 automobile engine. The coils from them would weigh several hundred pounds. This would net someone a nice chunk of change from a recycling center...but to remove it and then tote it down 14 floors?

Fig. 9a: Miscellaneous Filth (2nd Floor)

Fig. 9b: Miscellaneous Filth (3rd Floor Restaurant, with Chris)

Fig. 9c: Miscellaneous Filth (3rd Floor)

Fig. 9d: Miscellaneous Filth (Lobby)

This building was in absolutely atrocious condition. After we left I went home and immediately showered and washed my clothes. While it was filthy, it was an interesting study in how some people can be so desperate as to invade a filthy, abandoned building to use as shelter when they have no where else to go. So desperate that they have to rip out copper wiring to get enough money to survive, or for their next dose of "recreational pharmaceuticals".

It is a shame, really, that in this day and age people have to descend to nearly the state of animals to try to survive. I guess it is a primal instinct to want to survive, and do all that it takes to do so. I was shocked and appalled to see this place and would never, ever want to set foot in it again. I was, however, not in a desperate state...I have a car to drive, a house to live in, a job to work at, friends to have fun with. I'm sure if I was homeless and had no where to go and had to do whatever it takes to survive, it might just look like paradise.

Thankfully, I cannot set foot in it again, because it is gone. Congrats to RDW for a successful project!

Humor of Sri Lanka

A friend and colleague of mine, APK, is from Sri Lanka. He sent me the jokes below to give me some insight into Sri Lankan culture and humor. I hope one day to travel there, and he said that he would be glad to show me around and we would stay in his family's home.

Udurawana's Getting Married
Udurawana's Girl Friend: "I'm one year elder than you....will it be effected badly to our marriage?"
Udurawana: "No, not at all. We'll marry next year."

Hidden Cameras
Mrs. Udurawana caught Udurawana searching high and low all around his living room.
Mrs. Udurawana: "What are you searching for?"
Mr. Udurawana: "Hidden cameras!"
Mrs. Udurawana: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"
Mr. Udurawana: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Every few minutes he keeps saying, 'You are watching Rupavahini channel'. How does he know that?"

Relaxing
Udurawana was enjoying the sun at the beach in America. A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing?"
Udurawana answered, "No, I am Udurawana."
Another guy came and asked him the same question.
Udurawana answered, "No! No! Me Udurawana!"
A third one came and asked him the same question again.
Udurawana was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Sri Lankan soaking in the sun.
He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?"
The other man was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."
Udurawana slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid idiot. Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"

Heaven
Udurawana died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gates Saint Peter told him that new rules are in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance each soul must answer two simple questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

Udurawana thought for a few minutes and answered:
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
Udurawana replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc..."

Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.

The Wash Basin
Udurawana goes to a hotel in Colombo and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him, "Sir, what are you doing?"
Udurawana replies, "Read this board here, it says 'Wash Basin.'"

English Exam
Udurawana finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how he did on his exam. He replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought and thought, at last I wrote THUNK!!!"

Answer the Following Questions in Brief
Udurawana is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt and throws it away as well, followed by his pants, socks and watch.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
"I am only following the instructions here," he says, "it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief.'"

Essay
The English teacher told all the students in the class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except Udurawana. He has written. "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!!!"

The Postman
Postman: "I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this parcel."
Udurawana: "Why did you come so far? Instead you could have posted it."

Coffee Shop
Udurawana and his wife went to a coffee shop.
Udurawana said, "Hurry up! Drink quickly!"
His Wife asked, "Why?"
Udurawana said, "Hot Coffee Rs. 5 and Cold Coffee Rs 10!"

Letter to his Son
Udurawana was writing something very slowly.
A friend came and asked: "Why are you writing so slowly?"
Udurawana replies, "I'm writing to my 6 years old son. He can't read very fast."

How I Look When I'm Sleeping
Udurawana was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife sees this and asks: "What you are doing?"
Udurawana replies, "I'm seeing how I look while I'm sleeping!"

38 Things You Wish You Could Say at Work

I was cleaning my mailbox out at work and came across this list that someone sent me. It is 38 things that you wish you could say at work, but can't. Unfortunately, I have said a few of them...

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paychecks.

No Parking

My friend Chris sent me this today, and I liked it so much I had to post it here...


This is something that I find fascinating, and it is more common than one would expect. I am not sure why people don't secure their wireless, whether they don't care or just can't because the instructions on how to do so are difficult to understand. And it can be, as there are numerous options. In my neighborhood, I can see several access points. Thankfully, most are secure, but a few are not. If a wireless network is unsecure, that can leave any computer on that network vulnerable. Now-a-days, even if you use WEP encryption, you are not fully secure. There are several ways to get the encryption keys, easy enough even for the most inept script kiddie. Another danger with unsecure networks, and this is a biggie, is that naughty people may do bad things over the connection like kiddie porn and threatening emails. If the traffic gets traced, it comes back to the owner of access point. Not good.

My wireless network is probably the strongest in the neighborhood. I use a Cisco 1231 b/g wireless access point (all of my network equipment...router, switch, access point...is real Cisco stuff. I am a CCNA after all!) I have two antennas, a high-gain yagi directional antenna on the roof pointed to my parent's house, and a smaller omnidirectional in the ceiling of the hallway. I'm pretty sure every wardriver in the Greater Dayton area has been to my neighborhood to get on my juicy 6 Mb DSL.

I use WPA for connection authentication, and TKIP for data encryption from the computer to the access point. You have to know the pre-shared WPA key to get access, then the TKIP encrypts the data so a sniffer would see gobbledygook rather than your data. At least it is pretty well protected, for now, since encryption methods are being cracked all the time. For even better security, you can apply MAC address filtering, thus only allowing connections from any physical network card which you have registered with your access point. I have not done this because I have lots of wireless devices and work on computers at home, and it would be a chore to track all of that.

I plan on implementing a RADIUS server on my network so I can dump the "pre-shared key" on WPA, and implement 802.1x. This will allow me to set up logins on a server, and the computer or device will have to authenticate by an appropriate username and password. This is also known as WPA-Enterprise and is usually used in large companies. I was working on this before I came down with cancer and have not gotten back to it.

I am implementing a wireless solution at work using a centralized Cisco controller, with all the fancy-schmancy security features. This is a great solution, albeit expensive. I have had great success with it so far, and I am excited to get more access points installed. I have also learned a great deal about wireless and its associated security functions, and I am really eager to learn more.

So, if your wireless is open and exposed to God and everybody, GET IT SECURE!

The Help Desk

The help desk policy at my company...

Things That Annoyed Me Today

Note: Some of the below might be deemed unpleasant to those with weak constitutions...

I must be grasping at straws for something to blog about. I was bored at work today, so I blogged about my water softener. A water softener for goodness sake!

Anyhow, I was annoyed by several things today.

Nortel Symposium
This is software by Northern Telecom that manages the call centers we have at work. For some reason, the call center manager cannot run any reports. It is something goofy with Crystal Reports and Active Directory and all that. I can run the reports for her direct from the server, but it is easier for her to do it. I've tried everything, and I still cannot get it to work. Our phone system vendor is of no help either.

Cisco Wireless Controller
The wireless LAN I am implementing at my company is based on Cisco's lightweight access points. These have a central controller that manages every aspect of the entire wireless infrastructure. Pretty great, actually. The problem is that I installed Internet Authentication Service on one of our Windows Domain Controllers and I could not get any machines to securely connect to the wireless network. The RADIUS server portion of IAS was configured properly...or so I thought. I had put in the wrong IP address for the Wireless Controller in the IAS configuration, so the RADIUS server would never respond to any requests from the Wireless Controller. Once I changed it, it worked like a charm. Just another idiot problem that took me three days to figure out. Duh.

3com Switches
I am losing my faith in 3com. Today, out of the blue, our core switch in one of the main buildings died. So, pretty much everyone lost connection to everything. I had to fanagle all the connections from that switch into the already overloaded other core switch in that building. Now I have to plan on a way to recover if I lose another one. I really want to replace the whole ball of wax with Cisco stuff, but we need money.

My Tongue
This is the gross one. Mom and I went out to eat at Olive Garden, my favorite restaurant. I ordered the cheese ravioli with meat sauce. I didn't think it would be too bad. My mouth, especially my tongue, is still very sensitive from the radiation damage but pasta and their associated sauces seemed to agree with me best. After finishing the salad, I felt something strange in the back of my mouth. It was a piece of skin that had sloughed off of the side of my tongue, and my tongue began to bleed. I tried to continue eating, but the acid in the tomato sauce burnt the sensitive sore that had just been created. I thought I was done with this crap. Late in the radiation, the roof of my mouth was shedding every few days in a bloody mess...now that that's over with, I guess it's time for my tongue to start! Dammit! Hopefully I will be able to handle the luscious Italian food for lunch tomorrow.

I promise that I won't let my blog become a bitchfest...at least not often...